dizzy & disturbed

My mind is scattered, frenetic: it flits from stimulus to stimulus, terrified by the bright lights along C5. My stomach is heavy with confusion and dread.

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You, me, and the sea

But time makes you bolder, even children get older. And I’m getting older, too.

Landslide, Fleetwood Mac

“I’m happy we’re doing this,” you said. “We haven’t really talked like this in a while, and I’ve been wanting to speak with you.”
I perked up a little, trying to blink the drowsiness from my heavy eyes. I wanted to listen, to truly hear what you had to say. Then again, you never did have much trouble catching my attention.


Photo by Juskteez Vu on Unsplash
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Why I can talk about my mental health so casually

I was at work, chatting to a friend about my upcoming trip to my psychiatrist.

It’s my anxiety, I said. It’s been acting up again. I might need to go back on meds. My heart keeps racing and my palms are even sweatier than usual. Breathing is a challenge despite me being stationary in front of the computer for 8 hours.

I barely noticed another friend of mine sidling up, apparently listening to the conversation. I gave him a brief acknowledgement before going right back to my story.

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REVIEW: Perennials by Julie Cantrell

I was browsing Kindle titles on Amazon when I stumbled upon Perennials by Julie Cantrell. The premise seemed interesting enough. However, I haven’t had the energy to finish this book. I spent nearly a whole morning reading up to half of the novel, waiting, waiting for it to get good because it did have promise.

Now, a disclaimer: I did not finish this book. I didn’t care enough to finish this book. I thought it would be a waste to continue investing my time in it when even after I’ve plodded through half of it, I still didn’t care about anyone in the story. That said, I do have some thoughts on the half that I did read.

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I wish emotional connections were optional

Lately I’ve been having a recurring fantasy: a life with no emotional connections.

You’ll never be disappointed because you expect nothing from everyone. You can focus on external matters, like your job. You’ll never have to worry about messy things like romantic and platonic relationships. No more worrying about people leaving.

exit
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

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